We can learn a lot from Yul Brynner:

First off let me say: Us men are pretty much screwed when it comes to hair. While women can choose from literally hundreds of different styles, with very few of them being notably unpleasant on the eye, men have, I would say... ten or so styles which do not appear at all ridiculous. Some guys can pull off variants, but it's very gutsy and risky. Unfortunately, not all men realize this, and a good 20% of the male population stick with bad haircuts, blisfully unaware that they appear quite unattractive to members of both sexes (not to mention frightening to children and small animals).

Some of these styles have received their fair share of ridicule - I mean, we've all told mullet jokes, and we've all snickered behind the backs of those skinny guys who still think a mohawk will make them look tougher. But for me, the most hilarious of bad men's hairstyles is the curly long hair. What strikes me as so comical is that most of the men who wear it seem to fancy themselves tough guy longhair rock and rollers, a la Sammy Hagar or maybe Steve Vai. But they don't look like Sammy Hagar. They look like "Weird" Al Yankovic. Every one of them. When they are unshaven (which I'm sure they think of as a sign of "being on the road"), it just gets worse, because Weird Al has a moustache. I'm sure everyone reading this knows what I'm talking about - even if it was just once, at some point in your life, you must have seen a guy who just made you think "whoa, Weird Al!" Surely it's not just me and those girls from "Ghost World"...

HOWEVER. The long curly hair is not even the worst of the worst. No, there is a hairstyle even more ridiculous, believe it or not. I refer to, of course, the toupee which ATTEMPTS to mimic long curly hair. You may think I'm just making it up, but there are no less than three regular customers at my work who sport this exact 'do. The first doesn't seem to comb it, and therefore looks like an opossum died on his head. The second pulls it off a bit better, and only looks like a shaggy poodle died on him. Bad hairpiece guy #3 appears to have four large rat skins draped over his scalp - one in the center, one in the back, and the others over each ear. Perhaps one more makes up his moustache, I can't tell. A word of advice: if you are balding, then just let yourself go bald. It looks way better than trying to hide it, trust me. And if you absolutely must cover your scalp, then for the love of god don't try to relive your rockin' youth doing it. Be subtle about it. You can be "that guy who might wear a hairpiece." Or you can be "that guy who is obviously wearing a hairpiece, good god what is that thing on his head, no woman will ever sleep with that person again, he should tie that thing into a noose and put himself out of his misery" guy. The choice is all yours.

Let Yul Brynner teach us a lesson. Less is more. If you go bald, there's nothing wrong with staying that way.